“Bear Hair 2” is the second-to-last song, and second title track, from our first álbum Bear Hair. It’s almost completely anomalous from the rest of our music, but for some reason, it belongs; mostly because of subject matter and how fun it is to play live. This used to be our primary closing song, until we started playing “Architects,” (which often gets replaced by “Burble” now), but it doesn’t close the album entirely. It’s not even really a companion piece to “Bear Hair 1,” except for the fact that they all deal with mental problems caused by either external things or myself. It’s the only other song on the album where I rap (with some great backing by Danny), and it is in 3 major parts: the weird smooth-to-stuttery introductory part where the rapping is, the aggressive middle part that’s super-slow, and the bright last part that recalls the chorus of “Bear Hair 1.”
It deals with the way I was during the middle-latter half of my relationship around the time I was writing this album, and was written right before we broke up. However, it doesn’t ENTIRELY have to do with the relationship, either; the introduction are a ton of descriptions and metaphors of me at my most upset, leading to an animalistic analogy for depression, and then a short letter to the idea of Grace, or the Holy Spirit. It’s the MIDDLE part that has to do with the relationship, which was a very impactful thing right then. There are a lot of lyrics in this jawn, and a lot of references to things, so I better get started…
I’ve got this bear hair beard,
growing thick from the eyes, roof of my mouth, and ears
and it feels like I’ve had it for this-many dog years
Lately, I’ve been 2; tomorrow, I’ll be 82,
feeling like my head Bluetooth’d youth
I described the origins of the term “bear hair” in the post for “Bear Hair 1”; right here, I just mean that the beard represents that present frustration. It made sense at the time too, because if I’m really in bad shape, I forget to take care of myself. When I say “this-many dog years,” “this-many” just refers to when a child holds up their fingers to tell you what age they are, and say “THIS MANY!” The 2/82 is in reference to the relationship between dog years and human aging. Saying that I “Bluetooth’d youth” just means that between huge gaps in age, I grew up sort of spottily, almost like youth was instilled in me in an artificial way.
Skin thickens and blood cells reach Heinz-heights
Sketch artist composite pegged onto a Lite Brite
The Heinz reference is describing thick blood to go along with the thick skin, due to artery-clogging food that’s super bad for me. The sketch artist composite on the Lite Brite is sort of a callback to the Bluetooth line, but a little different: I sometimes feel like there is nothing about me that is self-made, and that I’m entirely put together by other people. I say Lite Brite instead of something else in that vein because I find them specifically tacky.
God bless my shiny architect;
zoom out to the marionettes
Number 2 will hold my village hostage,
and the role switches every single time I enter and exit a room,
and I won’t control me any time soon
the salt of my tears once did wonders for my acne,
but now it just gets soaked into the spiny ivy
The marionettes refer to controllers, hence the elaboration on the Lite Brite line with “shiny architect.” When you zoom out to whoever is controlling me, you see NUMBER 2, from my favorite TV show of all time, The Prisoner.
I’ve had several bad dreams about this show, for it involves my absolute worst fear: containment, with no idea of what’s containing me. A top secret British agent resigns, without saying why or what he’s doing, and wakes up in a strange village, one that he can’t escape and one with oppressors (including Number 2 and Number 1) that he does not understand. One dream I had involved me in a scene with several marionettes, one that slowly zoomed out, only to reveal a Number 2 from The Prisoner manipulating me and everyone else. I woke up so upset, because I had no idea that an image like that would creep through the holes in my subconscious.
The role switches all the time because there are different Number 2s everywhere I go, and I’m never in control of myself. The salt and acne line refers to how saltwater in the ocean is very good for the skin, but it just gets soaked into that “bear hair beard” I was discussing before.
Cut down on my hygiene and I develop jungle musk
Child-like monster drawing bearing long hair and thick tusks
TUSK from the back
TUSK from the cheek
TUSK from my forehead,
3 more wherever nature wanted
This is the metaphor that fueled a little bit of performance art I never got to do while performing songs from this album: taking the Vitruvian Man by Da Vinci, and adding a bunch of mismatched animal parts to it in order to defile the perfect man with depression. (NOT implying that I’m the perfect man.) I always thought tusks were super ugly, so that was a major part of it.
I’m feeling like the Lady in the Fireplace
caught like The Doctor in the cytoplasm of time-space
and like her, I waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited
and waited and waited, and you never came
This is a letter to the idea of Grace, upset that it hasn’t, you know…come. The “Lady in the Fireplace” is a reference to one of the best episodes of Doctor Who I’ve ever seen, wherein Marie Antoinette waits for The Doctor…until she dies. So upsetting.
I waited and you never came
I waited and you never came, Grace
I waited and you never came
and now he’s got these easy, delicate, persuasive hands
Thinks he’s got her figured out
I’m dying if he does
I’ve got no service and a network cable’s unplugged
I’m on my twin bed
My feet can touch the floor
Bear hair beard on my chest and I’m crawling on all fours
I’ve been cheated on twice in my life, and this is in reference to one of the times. I’m not going to write a lot about that, but this is about what it was like after learning about that. The “easy, delicate, persuasive hands” were his, and the “no service” and unplugged network cable lines refer to being ignored on both the phone and internet to the point where it almost seems like they don’t work. The bear hair beard is now to my chest, which is like me at my worst, writhing in my bed that’s too small for me, and eventually crawling and groveling.
Needless to say,
Some things are best left not discussed,
but I must,
but I must,
but I must
PLEEEEASE REBLOG SO PEOPLE CAN HEAR THE SONG!!!